A Happy Sad

If you could see me now, you’d have a good laugh. My dear roommate sleeps with earplugs and an eye mask, so there’s no fear of waking her when I tinker around at 4:30 in the morning, but I think me talking into my phone would be audible to her, so I sit on our ‘western toilet’ in our hotel room’s bathroom and blog by voice. It’s much quicker than trying to type these lengthy ones!

When I first began researching Cambodia, months before I left for the trip, I read that many ‘ex-pats’ (foreign nationals from all over) are moving to Cambodia because their money goes much further. My seat mate on my flight (Seoul-Phnom Penh) was traveling here for that very reason…to find a place to live and relocate so his retirement would funds last him longer, and perhaps offer more excess for ‘frivolous and fun’ spending. Having been here now for almost a week and a half, I realize that the culture is so vastly different than home. I knew that the Cambodian culture and social norms would naturally be present, but what I didn’t realize was the oppressive air of being in a predominantly buddhist country. It is evident it creates a sense of hopelessness. Most have experienced such difficult and challenging circumstances, and the notion of having to come back and do it over and over and over again until you are good enough to stop the cycle, would lead most to an emotional breakdown I would think😞.

There is no middle class here. There are the random few super wealthy, along with the foreign transplants (the ex-pats). All the others fall well below what we would consider the poverty line. In fact they would fall below a sub-poverty line…in the negative percentages, if there was such a thing. As a foreigner transplanting to Cambodia, I could not come face to face with these stark and destitute conditions on a daily basis. Even if one had millions of dollars to share, it just would not be enough 😔. So, while we are here, we are giving of ourselves, because of that there is no end. We are refreshed and refilled each moment of every day, and for that we are grateful.

Yesterday a man came to triage who could not walk. His right hand was clenched into a tight fist (contractures) and his ankles also had bilateral contractures and would not move, almost as if fused and cemented at the joints. When it was time to break for lunch, I made my way up the steep ‘stairway of doom’ as we call it, and I saw that he was being assisted in walking down the steps, his ankles moving normally, and his hand open and grasping the arm of his assistant. I am grateful he was willing to go to the ‘prayer room’ which is the last stop before a patient walks out the door. By then they’ve all been to four other stops, and have (hopefully) felt the love and heard the encouraging words of the team.

Miracles and wonders are happening here in Cambodia. They have a powerful group of pastors, ministers and leaders among the Christian community here, and I am confident this will continue long after we have returned home. I will leave a part of my heart in Cambodia💕🥲.